Assay

A ship is safe in its port, but that's not what for the ship is made for. the day commenced with out any sign of morning blues, but gradually faded to dark as frustrations mounted in me to brood Is this the way things are supposed to be? Despite of my revelations of a sense of cacophony in my love to the rhythm, i was bold enough to pacify myself, things are gonna be in place. I failed to realize that if i can even think of being away from dance, there is nothing left in me for anything else. The straight line of life is so malleable that it has taken the weird curved form pondering me to the core.
hope i'll get an answer right here in the same space sometime soon. Now that's something beaming. Thank god atleast i could end it on an optimistic note!!!

Glossed over

Let me start with a salute to the hundreds of real life heroes who fight for us on the frontier. The pain and stain of 26/11 have not left us yet and the families of the real victims are under the shadows of mourning. And yesterday, we had an oppurtunity to listen to Mr.Unnikrishnan, father of Sandeep unnikrishnan, a true officer who married the army to serve the motherland.

As the brave parent started on the note of expecting none of us to sympathize with him atleast for the day, the brave vibes of a true citizen of India was revealed.Yes, it was indeed great to listen to him speak virtues and emotions of his son, who was a person , rather who is a person(i believe these souls never die)with an optimistic air of eveything. Sitting here on a cushioned chair in the comfort of a conditioner, it is easy to blog about my feelings as i was taking his words. But, it requires to much more in me to take a step to really do something for the country or someone atleast.

In his words reflected the love and respect for his son, and it had tints of grudge towards the system in place also. As he shared his decision to commence a trust on sandeep's name so that his memories stays alive forever, my mind prayed for those hundreds who fight and die at the borders whom most of us don't know by name. Are they not fighting for us, are they not sincere to their job, are they not one among us?When we nag about what the system is lacking to content our hopes and aspirations, we forget there are people who really brook because of this.Lets be with those families who really need support.

Amigo

Together,
As if one person,
we glance back,
Seeing the face that spoke.
-Emma.S


This was written for a friend who is as true as his relationships. As rude as his persona. As good as his virtues. Thought this should definitely have a space here, without which maybe my scribblings are just incomplete. Because inspite of my insatiable appeal to gush out my negatives and frustrations, he was one person who made me write something positive.

I walk down the dark lonely road,
As the past throws light into my memory,
I taste the vista on the sideline of the dark.
As I travel down the lane of my remembrance,
I envisage that bench at the dawn of the lane.
As I feel myself seated there studded with a smile,
You are sitting near me my friend, with a reason,
A reason that always brought a smile on my face,
A reason that I never realized.

As these waves of nostalgia erode me,
I long to swing back to the past.
As I realize I can never take the road back,
Its still a sweet pain I relish,
With you my friend, beckoning me to the bygone days,
Those days, I know,
Which will never come again,
But, will remain forever close to my heart.

A note for you-
"You made me special in a way probably no one can even appreciate,
there are relations which can't be put in words"

Envy

A sunny afternoon brings in more gay than expected. But that day it brought in more than anticipated as well. I am not sure how the thought sprouted in them, of bringing him to our abode. Knowing their fondness and affection, i was ready to compromise my unbeaten fear and the aversion to these goofies. It came as a shocking wave to me when i saw him in the living room all to that instant. No wonder this goober with his bushy tail and droopy ears opened the evil eye in me. He conquered my living space, the alcove is still all mine. Each of my steps in the house are to be taken by caution as i have still not found why i like to keep myself away from these pucks. Those with a kind heart kindly excuse me, puck as far as he is to me. Not leaving any intention to hurt your sentiments.

I am devoid of attentions i seek, the klutz breached all my privileges i used to savor. The monster in me leaves no sign of me getting intimate to him. His cutie smile and cheery nature is not going to aid as well....

"i loved skimming the lines of Neruda and taking to heart the feelings of the poet and the subject, but i can never be one coz while reading those,i loved the language more than the subject".

Black Rose for my valentine

And yet another day, in the name of red, in the name of trust, in the name of despair..in the name of love, bows down its bough without the words from a beloved, without the smell of roses and without the feeling of completion.It has always been just another day in my life though it spurted my fancies and ecstasies beyond reality.The female in me always gave it a vista as something beautiful than any verses can describe it, since it's better felt than said. Something sodden in the most graceful pain one can ever hold close to heart. Something in your soul, in your eyes, in your heart, but never in your mind. Something which really doesn't exist, but it would hurt to accept it.
But this year it was different, i swear to myself it simply doesn't exist, it simply doesn't exist within me. Nothing more i have in me to your surrender, and i just don't exist now. My castles shattered across your rusted heart which is as arid as it is stinking.
I look at those withered pieces of my beliefs which was once the strength and hope of my journey.I look at those tiny mistakes of mine, for which i would never forgive my verdict, rather die.But my heart still utters the final words to you,

"i am no more in this world because of me, because i trusted your trust, i loved you more than anything my sense could comprehend but now i love you more than myself."

Can you blame me???

Let me start on a stupid note,

Life is never a game you wish to play,

And if ever it was,

That was never life.

Those where moments,

Of gay and servile pleasure,

When you found the unguessed in you,

Alas, your companion was never the way you wished,

Par the strings of mind you played to make her so,

And it was not so long she abandoned you.

You travelled on the roads you wished,

And finally realized you are completely lost,

Can I blame??

Beyond your discretion, you chose the first left to you,

I can’t blame you,

You acted a mere mortal!!!

Since that you chose the road,

Life was just to prove,

Prove your point that,

This is what I waited for long,

This is my boulevard,

Can I blame you???

I can’t!!!You were just being diplomatic to you!!

But you never knew when you reached the outskirts,

The flashing lights of the city no more threw light on your road,

Now, it was the diminutive dusk of every human mind!!!

You judged the road with the stab of your past,

And forgot to see whether the lights were really there!!!

And now that it’s known to you,

Life just have been honest to you,

To ache you with your wrong choice,

And with pain you desert.

But fail to feel the twinge,

The throbbing of the deserted road,

Which was never may be destined for you!!!

Is it time for a song of despair,

Or for new rays of hope,

The insatiable hues were never splashed,

Fire is still burning inside,

Since you have taken with you everything I have,

There is nothing I owe to you,

Rather my infinite state of oblivion.

Can you blame me??